I realized I love my family very much. I knew that already, but I like realizing it again. Something about going back home to where I grew up helps me put things into perspective, or at least in a different light. Being at school where I can get lonely and grumpy and frazzled kind of mixes up my mind, and when I go home for the holidays, it eases that tension and makes me light-hearted and happier. I think I pray more when I'm home too. I don't know why.
I love each one of them so so so much, all the same. But today I realized that something about leaving my mom behind, no matter how many times I've done so (I should be used to it by now), I still want to cry when I have to say good-bye to her (and I'm even seeing her again in less than two weeks!!). Sometimes I can hold it in, other times I just can't. I think it's because I'm the one who is most like my mom; I can feel myself becoming more and more like her all the time, so I know that the wanting to cry feeling that is inside me is also what she is feeling. And knowing that it hurts her to say goodbye to me just as much as I to her makes it several times harder to leave her than anyone else.
Moreover, sometimes I love someone (or something) so much it hurts. Whether it is an immediate family member, a relative, a significant other, or even an animal, often the thought of them fills me with love and wrenches my heart. It happens with all whom I love.
Moral of the story: I most likely couldn't survive without loved ones.
No comments:
Post a Comment