The last post I made was last January, almost exactly a year ago, when I announced our pregnancy! I feel like I should have kept up with posts on updates, but sometimes life just needed to be experienced, and not written about right away.
I've come across several posts on blogs, websites, etc. about whether or not to find out the sex of your baby. I totally get the reasons for letting it be a surprise on the day of birth, and I am happy for those that choose not to find out. I think it's great that they have that kind of patience, or whatever their reasoning is. I know all the reasons to wait... "It's how past generations did it before all this technology." "Your pregnancy shouldn't be about the gender, it should be about the fact that you have a baby growing in you!" "Pregnancies, baby showers, etc. have become too 'genderized,'" "When people are talking to you about your pregnancy, the most important question shouldn't be 'are you having a boy or girl'?" Etc etc.
Jake and I chose to find out. And whatever others' reasoning is for not finding out the sex, I really do not want to be made to feel guilty or bad about our decision, which is the vibe I get from many posts/articles. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain myself, but I'm going to anyway. (The same goes for her birth; I gave birth in a hospital, with an epidural, had vacuum assist, did not hold or breastfeed my baby right away [due to circumstances beyond my control; I had wanted to do so], and she did not stay in the room with us the first night. Several [but not all] of these things I already feel badly about and wish it could have gone differently, but I get tired of reading things that make me feel even more guilty about it...or when people chime in with their story - "I had an all natural birth of a 10 pound baby, twice! No episiotomy!" But this is another story, something I'll be sure to rant about if/when I post about her whole birth - still debating if I want to do this or not)
Anyway, back to finding out the sex.
The biggest thing for me was bonding. When we discovered I was pregnant, and for weeks afterward, I was happy, to an extent. I had known for a very, very long time that I wanted to be a mother, and the fact that it was going to happen was a joyful thing. However, I was having trouble bonding to the baby inside me. I didn't really feel like a mother for a while, and I think it's based on several things combined. One, morning sickness and extreme fatigue. I was hit with it very hard, and could hardly eat anything but Instant Noodles for weeks. I was so miserable that it was difficult to feel happy about being pregnant. Second, homesickness. We had only been living in Iowa for about two and a half months when we found out. I was already missing my family terribly, and knowing that I'd have a baby this far from them made me even more homesick. Third, the winter blues. That was the first winter I'd ever really experienced the winter blues, at least to this extent. I was depressed and tired and sick (obviously due to the pregnancy but made worse by my first experience with an Iowa winter and homesickness). I couldn't go outside to get fresh air and sunshine because I was utterly exhausted and sick, but also because there WAS no sunshine! November and December were freezing and rainy. Ugh. Anyway, these things combined may it hard to bond with the baby, and I think not knowing what it was (boy or girl) made it even more difficult.
I had read a list of pros and cons to finding out the sex versus waiting somewhere (Baby Center maybe?) and that one of the pros to finding out was that it can help you bond with the baby. So we decided to find out.
Our anatomy ultrasound was scheduled for when I was 20 weeks pregnant, which was when we would find out. However, we got rear-ended on our way to work when I was 19 weeks and a few days, and although we seemed fine, Jake took me in to the doctor just to make sure everything was okay with baby. Heartbeat was still strong but the doctor decided we'd benefit from an ultrasound just to make sure. She then asked if we wanted to do the anatomy ultrasound then, instead of waiting until the next week. We of course said yes, but I was so nervous; since we were doing it earlier, I was not prepared to know if it was a boy or a girl! I had been trying to prepare for a week later.
We went through the ultrasound, the tech describing what parts of the body she was looking at, and (thank the Lord), when everything looked great and as it should. Finally, she asked "Do you guys want to know what you're having?" Yes!
My heart was pounding and I could hardly contain myself. At first the baby was not in the best position to be able to tell, but the ultrasound tech jiggled my tummy a little with the wand to get the baby moving a little. Finally, she announced, "You guys are having a girl!" I immediately gasped and looked at Jake, and tears sprung to my eyes. After that I stopped paying attention to what was on the screen and what the tech was saying because I was in such a daze, but Jake later told me that she was pointing out the baby's "little girl parts" to us and describing how she knew. I was crying and when the jelly was wiped off my belly and I was standing up again, the tech handed me some tissues. I think I would have cried whether it was a boy or girl. I think I was just so happy to know what the baby inside me was.
After that I fell even more in love with her, just being able to say "she" and "her" instead of "it" made me feel like a mother. I think starting to show a bump also helped me bond, because there was more visible proof of the baby.
I have no doubt that I would have eventually bonded to the baby even if we had waited to find out, and know I would've fallen in love with her when she was born even though I wouldn't have known what to expect. But I strongly feel that it helped me through my pregnancy. In order to keep at least one thing a surprise for others, we decided to keep her name secret. It was fun for Jake and I to have that secret between us and to hear/see others' reactions after she was born when we introduced "Evelyn Matilda!"
Side note: Evelyn was a name that we both loved even before we met. Jake liked it from "The Mummy" and even calls her "Evie" like in the movie. I didn't have a specific place I heard it; i just liked it. Matilda came from my parents - when they were having children themselves, they had considered the name Matilda for all 3 of us. I remembered that story for years and I always liked it. My parents were tickled pink that we had given her that as her middle name.
This I know for sure: Whether or not you find out the sex, no matter how much you love the baby inside you, nothing compares to the love you feel when he/she is in your arms or sleeping on your chest or nursing on you and making little satisfied grunts. Beginning right after she was born and I first saw her big feet and thick hair and first heard her little cries while she was being suctioned, I was filled with such overwhelming love. They tell you, "There is no love like a mother's love for her child," and you can nod and agree, but you don't know until you're there. Seriously, sometimes I look at her and my heart feels like it is going to explode out of my chest. I can't contain it!
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I think that if you choose to be surprised on the baby's birth day what he/she is, GREAT! I admire you. If you choose to find out the sex while he/she is still in your belly, GREAT! Why not ? We might consider waiting to find out with our future babies. We'll see if impatience gets the better of us :)
Monday, January 20, 2014
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Popcorn
Last post was in September? Seriously? I think that goes to show how much my life has changed since early September and how preoccupied I have been with other things to post any updates.
Regardless, I know not a lot of people read this, and all of you that do probably know the main updates to my life that I'm about to reveal (because of Facebook) but I like often going into elaborate detail, more than the amount of detail I can go into on Facebook and text messages.
Last time I wrote, we were hoping to adopt a dog we met at a rescue in Cedar Rapids. Well, we got him! We renamed him Dexter, and he's been such a joy to have around. I missed having a dog in my life so much, and I love finally having one again. He's silly and has quite the personality - still has a lot of youth and energy in him, but he is turning out to be a good family dog and even does so well in the apartment all day while we're at work. He's done a few naughty things, but his cuteness and entertainment outweigh the mischievous moments.
Second, Jake got a new job! He is now no longer at a call center (thank heavens - it was really starting to wear on him), and got a job with the Iowa City Area Chamber of Commerce. He's an office manager there, and does a lot of everything, really. He is really enjoying it and appreciates being treated like an adult for a change. Also, he works closer to where I do, so we carpool together most of the time now.
Third, not new, but I'm still at my job with the Univ. of Iowa. That's good, since it's the reason we moved here... I am still liking it for the most part and really enjoy the people I work with. Sometimes the job is really great, and other times it wears on me and is kinda "eh." One thing I noticed: this job has a tendency to be reeeeeaaallly busy for a few weeks, then reaaaaalllly slow for a few weeks, then reeeeeeallly busy, and the cycle goes on. It doesn't gradually go from slow to busy - it takes giant leaps. I miss being the same amount of busy most of the time - not overwhelmingly busy, but not super slow. I know that not every job is perfect, but there are a lot of perks and great benefits to being here as an advisor. I just don't feel like this is what I want to do for a long time.
The fourth, and most amazing, terrifying, beautiful, and exciting thing to happen since I posted last, is that................
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!
This is where the title of my post comes in, because right now as I type, the baby is squirming like crazy and it feels like popcorn popping in my belly! I just started feeling it about two weeks ago, and it tickles. like. CRAZY. I make squeaky noises involuntarily whenever it gives me a tiny little punch or kick.
We found out in late October. I started just feeling, "off," and not longer after feeling "off," I realized I was late. Then queasiness and nausea started. And a couple other symptoms. Then surprise! Two pink lines on the stick. Cue the breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably and getting makeup all over Jake's shirt.
The shock wore off, a week later we told close family and close friends, and in 8 days we will know whether it's a boy or a girl :) (That is, if he/she isn't crossing his/her legs over his/her parts...) Morning sickness stuck with me like a siamese twin from the 5th until about the 12th week of pregnancy. Now it's an occasional visitor, like a relative that I am not particularly fond of but feel obligated to accept now and then because of family ties - or in this case, because it's normal. The toilet and I had a good relationship going there for a while, but it was time to loosen our ties to each other a bit. I'm not entirely sure how I survived two busy phases at work during the fall semester when I could hardly keep my eyes open to stay awake.
It's hard being so far away from my family. It's amazing having Jake and our dog, but I miss home. A lot. There have been a few visits, and there will be more in the next few months, but nothing beats being within driving distance when I want to see them for the weekend. The cold weather and sickness didn't help my melancholy feelings, but I have been feeling better. Jake and I don't know how long we'll be there, and I'm still hoping that it won't be very long, even though I can't define "very long" just because there are a lot of unknowns. I want our child to have their grandparents nearby to have a close relationship with them, as well as his or her aunts and uncles. I try to have faith that we'll settle where we're meant to settle (but I'm hoping that means close to Los Alamos!).
Yet again I've written a very long post, but what is anything without the details? I'll try to be on here more often. Here's to being bombarded with many changes in a matter of a few months!
Regardless, I know not a lot of people read this, and all of you that do probably know the main updates to my life that I'm about to reveal (because of Facebook) but I like often going into elaborate detail, more than the amount of detail I can go into on Facebook and text messages.
Last time I wrote, we were hoping to adopt a dog we met at a rescue in Cedar Rapids. Well, we got him! We renamed him Dexter, and he's been such a joy to have around. I missed having a dog in my life so much, and I love finally having one again. He's silly and has quite the personality - still has a lot of youth and energy in him, but he is turning out to be a good family dog and even does so well in the apartment all day while we're at work. He's done a few naughty things, but his cuteness and entertainment outweigh the mischievous moments.
Second, Jake got a new job! He is now no longer at a call center (thank heavens - it was really starting to wear on him), and got a job with the Iowa City Area Chamber of Commerce. He's an office manager there, and does a lot of everything, really. He is really enjoying it and appreciates being treated like an adult for a change. Also, he works closer to where I do, so we carpool together most of the time now.
Third, not new, but I'm still at my job with the Univ. of Iowa. That's good, since it's the reason we moved here... I am still liking it for the most part and really enjoy the people I work with. Sometimes the job is really great, and other times it wears on me and is kinda "eh." One thing I noticed: this job has a tendency to be reeeeeaaallly busy for a few weeks, then reaaaaalllly slow for a few weeks, then reeeeeeallly busy, and the cycle goes on. It doesn't gradually go from slow to busy - it takes giant leaps. I miss being the same amount of busy most of the time - not overwhelmingly busy, but not super slow. I know that not every job is perfect, but there are a lot of perks and great benefits to being here as an advisor. I just don't feel like this is what I want to do for a long time.
The fourth, and most amazing, terrifying, beautiful, and exciting thing to happen since I posted last, is that................
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!
This is where the title of my post comes in, because right now as I type, the baby is squirming like crazy and it feels like popcorn popping in my belly! I just started feeling it about two weeks ago, and it tickles. like. CRAZY. I make squeaky noises involuntarily whenever it gives me a tiny little punch or kick.
We found out in late October. I started just feeling, "off," and not longer after feeling "off," I realized I was late. Then queasiness and nausea started. And a couple other symptoms. Then surprise! Two pink lines on the stick. Cue the breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably and getting makeup all over Jake's shirt.
The shock wore off, a week later we told close family and close friends, and in 8 days we will know whether it's a boy or a girl :) (That is, if he/she isn't crossing his/her legs over his/her parts...) Morning sickness stuck with me like a siamese twin from the 5th until about the 12th week of pregnancy. Now it's an occasional visitor, like a relative that I am not particularly fond of but feel obligated to accept now and then because of family ties - or in this case, because it's normal. The toilet and I had a good relationship going there for a while, but it was time to loosen our ties to each other a bit. I'm not entirely sure how I survived two busy phases at work during the fall semester when I could hardly keep my eyes open to stay awake.
It's hard being so far away from my family. It's amazing having Jake and our dog, but I miss home. A lot. There have been a few visits, and there will be more in the next few months, but nothing beats being within driving distance when I want to see them for the weekend. The cold weather and sickness didn't help my melancholy feelings, but I have been feeling better. Jake and I don't know how long we'll be there, and I'm still hoping that it won't be very long, even though I can't define "very long" just because there are a lot of unknowns. I want our child to have their grandparents nearby to have a close relationship with them, as well as his or her aunts and uncles. I try to have faith that we'll settle where we're meant to settle (but I'm hoping that means close to Los Alamos!).
Yet again I've written a very long post, but what is anything without the details? I'll try to be on here more often. Here's to being bombarded with many changes in a matter of a few months!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Greetings from Iowa!
*Long post alert*
Oh boy, what a ride it's been! Proof that my life has changed quite drastically in the last several weeks is the fact that I haven't posted since I announced our big move.
Our move went rather well- we left Las Cruces (with a difficult good-bye between Erin and I-tears were definitely shed by both of us!) on Friday July 27, my dad pulling my aunt's horse trailer with most of what was in our apartment. We were so glad to get the heck out of there. Don't think I mentioned this in my last two posts, but our apartment manager was making our lives a lot more hellish than it needed to be, all because of what happened with our next door neighbor several months ago. Won't go into too many details now, but basically they hated us because of our "constant" complaints about the raging parties... when filling out the rental verification form for our landlord in Iowa, they basically made it sound like we were the ones that were a nuisance, and that we were bad tenants. All because we were continuously asking them to do their job and let us live in peace. Luckily, our current landlord is amazingly nice and she believed every word we said, and disregarded the form.
Sheesh. Anyway, we stayed in Los Alamos for a few days, then on August 1st we left for Iowa! My mom rode with me the whole way in my car, my dad pulled the trailer in his truck, and Jake drove his highlander. The first night, we stayed in Grand Island, Nebraska. A neat town, actually. I opened my windows when we were driving into the town that night, and we were bombarded with the smell of hay and the feel of humidity. I loved it.
Next day we drove to our new home in Coralville, Iowa-a suburb of Iowa City that is nicely set away from the college atmosphere. We took over another couple's lease for an apartment, a nice 2-bedroom in a very friendly and relatively quiet community. I was skeptical about living in an apartment again-I was pretty determined to get a house rental or at least a townhouse or duplex next, but so far it's been great. I mean, no apartment living situation is perfect, but the few *slightly* negative things about this apartment/complex are definitely outweighed by the positive things, and are practically nothing compared to our last living situation in Cruces.
My parents stayed with us for 3 nights and helped us set up the apartment and get settled. That Sunday, Aug. 5, they left early in the morning. Probably one of the hardest times of my life. My mom, dad, and I could not hold back the tears and sobs. I don't think I'd ever seen my dad break down that much in front of me-I've seen him tear up, but nothing like this. It was heartbreaking, but knowing that they were proud of me and that this was a new adventure made things a little better. Things were made more difficult by the fact that my 17 month (at the time) niece, Arwen, was fighting a really bad MRSA infection in her leg. We found this out while we were all in Iowa, so I know it was difficult for my parents to not be there. Hard for me, too, especially because I couldn't go back to see them. She pulled through, though, and a few days after my parents got back to NM she had surgery to drain the infection, and she's good as new now, thanks to so many people's prayers and great doctors.
I started my job the day after my mom and dad left, and I absolutely love it. The three other new people and I went through intense training the first two weeks, and have been training on and off but also seeing students the last three weeks. It's a tricky job, but it keeps my mind busy and I've been learning quickly! I feel so comfortable there, too, and fit in with the office culture and the people so well. There is a wide range of ages and types of people, which I love. Everyone has been so accommodating and helpful.
While it's taken a lot of getting used to because of how different it is from New Mexico, this area is beautiful and we love it so far. There are thick forests all around, we've been getting a lot of rain, and there are many places to go hiking/camping/fishing. Jake and I went fishing last week at a nice secluded pond in a state park only 10 minutes away last weekend, and caught four bluegill between the two of us. Also, we've been searching for a dog to add to our family! Last week we met a 1 1/2 year old black lab mix at a dog rescue in Cedar Rapids, and hopefully will be hearing back about our application soon. I'll update if this goes through, and post some pics :)
Overall, we've been enjoying this new phase of our lives and are trying to be as involved as possible at public events around here. I will be going to the Faculty-Staff Orchestra practice on Monday-I'm so nervous, because I've hardly played my violin since high school! But I think it will be fun to try it out. Jake is enjoying his "new" job too-even though it's not really new, it is a new place and the office culture where he works is very different (and according to him, far better than) from the one in Las Cruces. There's also a program at the University of Iowa called Dual Career Network that is specifically for helping spouses of new University employees in their job search. He's met with his DCN officer and she's helped him with his resume. Hopefully something will come along soon, but we are so grateful that he at least has a job here, too.
Anyway, I think that's enough update for now. I miss my friends and family and the mountains like crazy, but I know this is what we needed at this time in our lives and look forward to more to come!
Oh boy, what a ride it's been! Proof that my life has changed quite drastically in the last several weeks is the fact that I haven't posted since I announced our big move.
Our move went rather well- we left Las Cruces (with a difficult good-bye between Erin and I-tears were definitely shed by both of us!) on Friday July 27, my dad pulling my aunt's horse trailer with most of what was in our apartment. We were so glad to get the heck out of there. Don't think I mentioned this in my last two posts, but our apartment manager was making our lives a lot more hellish than it needed to be, all because of what happened with our next door neighbor several months ago. Won't go into too many details now, but basically they hated us because of our "constant" complaints about the raging parties... when filling out the rental verification form for our landlord in Iowa, they basically made it sound like we were the ones that were a nuisance, and that we were bad tenants. All because we were continuously asking them to do their job and let us live in peace. Luckily, our current landlord is amazingly nice and she believed every word we said, and disregarded the form.
Sheesh. Anyway, we stayed in Los Alamos for a few days, then on August 1st we left for Iowa! My mom rode with me the whole way in my car, my dad pulled the trailer in his truck, and Jake drove his highlander. The first night, we stayed in Grand Island, Nebraska. A neat town, actually. I opened my windows when we were driving into the town that night, and we were bombarded with the smell of hay and the feel of humidity. I loved it.
Next day we drove to our new home in Coralville, Iowa-a suburb of Iowa City that is nicely set away from the college atmosphere. We took over another couple's lease for an apartment, a nice 2-bedroom in a very friendly and relatively quiet community. I was skeptical about living in an apartment again-I was pretty determined to get a house rental or at least a townhouse or duplex next, but so far it's been great. I mean, no apartment living situation is perfect, but the few *slightly* negative things about this apartment/complex are definitely outweighed by the positive things, and are practically nothing compared to our last living situation in Cruces.
My parents stayed with us for 3 nights and helped us set up the apartment and get settled. That Sunday, Aug. 5, they left early in the morning. Probably one of the hardest times of my life. My mom, dad, and I could not hold back the tears and sobs. I don't think I'd ever seen my dad break down that much in front of me-I've seen him tear up, but nothing like this. It was heartbreaking, but knowing that they were proud of me and that this was a new adventure made things a little better. Things were made more difficult by the fact that my 17 month (at the time) niece, Arwen, was fighting a really bad MRSA infection in her leg. We found this out while we were all in Iowa, so I know it was difficult for my parents to not be there. Hard for me, too, especially because I couldn't go back to see them. She pulled through, though, and a few days after my parents got back to NM she had surgery to drain the infection, and she's good as new now, thanks to so many people's prayers and great doctors.
I started my job the day after my mom and dad left, and I absolutely love it. The three other new people and I went through intense training the first two weeks, and have been training on and off but also seeing students the last three weeks. It's a tricky job, but it keeps my mind busy and I've been learning quickly! I feel so comfortable there, too, and fit in with the office culture and the people so well. There is a wide range of ages and types of people, which I love. Everyone has been so accommodating and helpful.
While it's taken a lot of getting used to because of how different it is from New Mexico, this area is beautiful and we love it so far. There are thick forests all around, we've been getting a lot of rain, and there are many places to go hiking/camping/fishing. Jake and I went fishing last week at a nice secluded pond in a state park only 10 minutes away last weekend, and caught four bluegill between the two of us. Also, we've been searching for a dog to add to our family! Last week we met a 1 1/2 year old black lab mix at a dog rescue in Cedar Rapids, and hopefully will be hearing back about our application soon. I'll update if this goes through, and post some pics :)
Overall, we've been enjoying this new phase of our lives and are trying to be as involved as possible at public events around here. I will be going to the Faculty-Staff Orchestra practice on Monday-I'm so nervous, because I've hardly played my violin since high school! But I think it will be fun to try it out. Jake is enjoying his "new" job too-even though it's not really new, it is a new place and the office culture where he works is very different (and according to him, far better than) from the one in Las Cruces. There's also a program at the University of Iowa called Dual Career Network that is specifically for helping spouses of new University employees in their job search. He's met with his DCN officer and she's helped him with his resume. Hopefully something will come along soon, but we are so grateful that he at least has a job here, too.
Anyway, I think that's enough update for now. I miss my friends and family and the mountains like crazy, but I know this is what we needed at this time in our lives and look forward to more to come!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
But I will miss some things here...
Yesterday I wrote about how Jake and I are sooo ready to get out of Las Cruces. And it's true, and I won't miss Las Cruces in general. We're just over the people in general and the culture and the climate (although, even though the Iowa City area is supposed to be milder climate, lately it's been experiencing a heat wave, so at times it's been even hotter than it is here, plus it's humid. But oh well). However, there are some things that have made my heart ache about this move.
1. Some restaurants. Okay, my heart isn't really aching about restaurants, but I will miss the following: a) Mesilla Valley Kitchen- where else will I get a breakfast of scrumptious MVK spuds? b) Red Brick Pizza - This is a chain, but only in a handful of states, of which do not include Iowa :( So long, Italian Fhazzani sandwich. c) Blake's Lotaburger! Of course, this is all over New Mexico. Best green chile burgers. d) Pic Quik- yes, a gas station/convenience store chain in southern NM, but what I'll miss about them is their Santa Fe Grill Medicine Man burritos.
2. My bestie Erin! She lives down here with her husband and we've been getting together for weekly coffee chats and just started going to yoga together recently, before I found out about the job. It seemed like it was going to be a fun tradition of ours, and now I'm bailing out. However, she has been applying to PA schools all over the country, so she may not be here much longer either. I just hope we'll end up close to each other again sometime, because we've decided to make our kids be best friends, too.
3. NMSU and many of its people. I didn't really feel sad at all until a couple nights ago. Jake and I went on a long walk, and on the way back, walked through the campus. So many memories came back ad I got really nostalgic. I kept thinking "Here is the horseshoe lawn where I got stuck in the mud walking to biology lab, and that guy on the bike rode by and just laughed at me," "Here is where I went to moonlight mass that one time," "Here are the steps where Jake took a photo of my sister and I," "There's Frenger food court where I all too frequently bought a mocha and read the campus newspaper my freshman year," "There's the grassy area where Jake and I shared Chinese food, a couple days before we started dating, where he told me how pretty I looked that day" "There's the Speech building, where I pretty much spent 90% of my time during the last two years and had to insist on not doing a thesis, much to the dismay of my advisor" and so on. I have a lot of memories from the campus, and I am sad to be leaving it behind.
4. And finally, White Sands. Where I came alone once freshman year, because I was feeling down and meant to drive around Las Cruces but ended up driving all the way to the national monument. Where I spent time with my new friend Jake. Where I came several times with my boyfriend Jake. And where I became the wife-to-be of Jake, who knelt in front of me at sunset and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I will miss all of these. But I know that Iowa will bring more memories and things to hold on to, because it will be another chapter in our lives.
1. Some restaurants. Okay, my heart isn't really aching about restaurants, but I will miss the following: a) Mesilla Valley Kitchen- where else will I get a breakfast of scrumptious MVK spuds? b) Red Brick Pizza - This is a chain, but only in a handful of states, of which do not include Iowa :( So long, Italian Fhazzani sandwich. c) Blake's Lotaburger! Of course, this is all over New Mexico. Best green chile burgers. d) Pic Quik- yes, a gas station/convenience store chain in southern NM, but what I'll miss about them is their Santa Fe Grill Medicine Man burritos.
2. My bestie Erin! She lives down here with her husband and we've been getting together for weekly coffee chats and just started going to yoga together recently, before I found out about the job. It seemed like it was going to be a fun tradition of ours, and now I'm bailing out. However, she has been applying to PA schools all over the country, so she may not be here much longer either. I just hope we'll end up close to each other again sometime, because we've decided to make our kids be best friends, too.
3. NMSU and many of its people. I didn't really feel sad at all until a couple nights ago. Jake and I went on a long walk, and on the way back, walked through the campus. So many memories came back ad I got really nostalgic. I kept thinking "Here is the horseshoe lawn where I got stuck in the mud walking to biology lab, and that guy on the bike rode by and just laughed at me," "Here is where I went to moonlight mass that one time," "Here are the steps where Jake took a photo of my sister and I," "There's Frenger food court where I all too frequently bought a mocha and read the campus newspaper my freshman year," "There's the grassy area where Jake and I shared Chinese food, a couple days before we started dating, where he told me how pretty I looked that day" "There's the Speech building, where I pretty much spent 90% of my time during the last two years and had to insist on not doing a thesis, much to the dismay of my advisor" and so on. I have a lot of memories from the campus, and I am sad to be leaving it behind.
4. And finally, White Sands. Where I came alone once freshman year, because I was feeling down and meant to drive around Las Cruces but ended up driving all the way to the national monument. Where I spent time with my new friend Jake. Where I came several times with my boyfriend Jake. And where I became the wife-to-be of Jake, who knelt in front of me at sunset and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I will miss all of these. But I know that Iowa will bring more memories and things to hold on to, because it will be another chapter in our lives.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Our next adventure
(Long post; prepare yourselves!)
Well for those of you that did not read it on Facebook, a big change is occurring in Jake's and my life (no, not a baby :). I can't remember if I wrote about this last month, but last month I had an interview over Skype with the University of Iowa to be an Academic Advisor. Well, I wasn't really sure how it went. I felt like I did really well with some questions, and just okay with others. A couple weeks went by, and one of my professors sent me a text message saying, "I just sang your praises to some people at the University of Iowa who contacted me for a reference!" This was terrifying to me - this meant that they thought the interview went well enough/they liked me enough to start contacting my references! Good news, yes, but I almost didn't want to get offered the job simply for fear of big change. I cried to Jake later that day and spilled my fears, and felt a little better. A week later, I was called by one of the committee members that interviewed me and she told me that I was one of their top choices and that I was being "unofficially" offered the position- they still were waiting for the request to hire me to get approved on some levels. The fear set in again, but I was also excited this time. Mostly sad though, because I couldn't stand the thought of being so far away from my family and going to a new city where I will know nobody except Jake. I called Jake at work and told him, and started bawling on the phone from the rush of emotions. He was so happy (happier than I at the moment). I spent the rest of the day crying my eyes out, and over the weekend we talked basically nonstop about it, and there were several times where I insisted I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else yet- I was still coming to terms with the whole thing. Sunday night I called my parents and told them. They were happy and excited for me, but I could hear my dad start to choke up, too.
Over the next couple days, the more I thought about it, the more excited and happy I became about it. I also knew that if I turned this down just because I was scared of change, I would regret it in the future. This is what Jake and I have been wanting for a long time- the chance to experience somewhere completely new and to get out of Las Cruces. We've gone through a lot here and are just tired of the culture. I think we will fit in a lot better in the Iowa City area. There are far more opportunities for college graduates and young people there, and it's much more progressive than LC is. Plus, Jake is able to transfer with his company to Coralville (basically part of Iowa City), so it works out perfectly for us. On Wednesday I got the "official" job offer, and will be starting August 6th! We have already basically found a place to live (just waiting for background checks, etc. to be complete, and hopefully, for us to be approved)- taking over the lease of a married couple's 2 bedroom apartment in Coralville. It is in a wonderful apartment complex community, and it seems like the residents are much more cared for and respected than our current living situation. I was pretty set on renting a townhouse or a nice duplex, or even a house if it was affordable rent, but this apartment community seems way better than ours now and we will have more space in that one. So I can deal with another year or two in an apartment, as long as nothing like "the neighbor situation" from a few months ago happens.
Our tentative plan is that we will leave to Los Alamos this Friday and spend 4-5 days there. My parents are amazing- they volunteered to drive their truck with my aunt's horse trailer along with Jake and I all the way to Iowa City and back. We will be paying for gas and overnight hotel stays, but this will save us soo much money because we won't have to rent a moving truck (unfortunately, the department I'll be working for doesn't have it in their budget to pay for relocation expenses).
I am very nervous about the whole thing- the moving logistics, the being far away from my family and friends, the not knowing people there, and the job- but now I am happy and looking forward to this new adventure with my husband. I think we will love it there, and of course we will visit home as often as possible. Here's to new experiences and living life to the fullest!
Well for those of you that did not read it on Facebook, a big change is occurring in Jake's and my life (no, not a baby :). I can't remember if I wrote about this last month, but last month I had an interview over Skype with the University of Iowa to be an Academic Advisor. Well, I wasn't really sure how it went. I felt like I did really well with some questions, and just okay with others. A couple weeks went by, and one of my professors sent me a text message saying, "I just sang your praises to some people at the University of Iowa who contacted me for a reference!" This was terrifying to me - this meant that they thought the interview went well enough/they liked me enough to start contacting my references! Good news, yes, but I almost didn't want to get offered the job simply for fear of big change. I cried to Jake later that day and spilled my fears, and felt a little better. A week later, I was called by one of the committee members that interviewed me and she told me that I was one of their top choices and that I was being "unofficially" offered the position- they still were waiting for the request to hire me to get approved on some levels. The fear set in again, but I was also excited this time. Mostly sad though, because I couldn't stand the thought of being so far away from my family and going to a new city where I will know nobody except Jake. I called Jake at work and told him, and started bawling on the phone from the rush of emotions. He was so happy (happier than I at the moment). I spent the rest of the day crying my eyes out, and over the weekend we talked basically nonstop about it, and there were several times where I insisted I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else yet- I was still coming to terms with the whole thing. Sunday night I called my parents and told them. They were happy and excited for me, but I could hear my dad start to choke up, too.
Over the next couple days, the more I thought about it, the more excited and happy I became about it. I also knew that if I turned this down just because I was scared of change, I would regret it in the future. This is what Jake and I have been wanting for a long time- the chance to experience somewhere completely new and to get out of Las Cruces. We've gone through a lot here and are just tired of the culture. I think we will fit in a lot better in the Iowa City area. There are far more opportunities for college graduates and young people there, and it's much more progressive than LC is. Plus, Jake is able to transfer with his company to Coralville (basically part of Iowa City), so it works out perfectly for us. On Wednesday I got the "official" job offer, and will be starting August 6th! We have already basically found a place to live (just waiting for background checks, etc. to be complete, and hopefully, for us to be approved)- taking over the lease of a married couple's 2 bedroom apartment in Coralville. It is in a wonderful apartment complex community, and it seems like the residents are much more cared for and respected than our current living situation. I was pretty set on renting a townhouse or a nice duplex, or even a house if it was affordable rent, but this apartment community seems way better than ours now and we will have more space in that one. So I can deal with another year or two in an apartment, as long as nothing like "the neighbor situation" from a few months ago happens.
Our tentative plan is that we will leave to Los Alamos this Friday and spend 4-5 days there. My parents are amazing- they volunteered to drive their truck with my aunt's horse trailer along with Jake and I all the way to Iowa City and back. We will be paying for gas and overnight hotel stays, but this will save us soo much money because we won't have to rent a moving truck (unfortunately, the department I'll be working for doesn't have it in their budget to pay for relocation expenses).
I am very nervous about the whole thing- the moving logistics, the being far away from my family and friends, the not knowing people there, and the job- but now I am happy and looking forward to this new adventure with my husband. I think we will love it there, and of course we will visit home as often as possible. Here's to new experiences and living life to the fullest!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Back to candles
Yesterday, while watching a movie to help pass the long afternoon hours, I lit a few wax candles and ended up playing with the melted wax. I'm obviously running out of ways to entertain myself these days. Anyway, it made me realize how long it's been since I've made some gel candles, so as soon as the movie was over, I pulled out my supplies, which were a bit dusty, and got to work. For Christmas I got a couple Hobby Lobby gift cards and had bought a big bucket of candle gel, but have not touched it since. So between yesterday and today I have made 4 complete candles and decorated 3 candle holders that I will fill at a later time. The problem is, I have a lot of completed candles, but don't want them all to myself. Not that we don't have enough clutter anyway. So if any of these look like they would complement your house well, or would make a nice gift for someone you know, please let me know! I don't have prices for any of these at the time, but we can work something out :)
Potpourri always makes me think of my mom. She always put potpourri in dishes when we were growing up, and still does. She even set up potpourri dishes in us kids' apartments when we went off to college. Anyway I had this potpourri dish (no doubt because of my mom's doing) and thought I'd make it a little more interesting. This is one way you can use flammable items with gel candles. This one isn't for sale, because I like my potpourri dish and I already started burning it :) But if you like it enough, I could get more materials and recreate it! The gel is rose-scented.
I had this container that held a store-bought candle in it before, and the company's name is inscribed into the jar. So I tied this cute bow and hot-glued it over the name. Once the gel burns down some, you will probably be able to see the wording if you look on the inside of the candle, but I think I was pretty resourceful :) This one is lavender scented, to go with the color. It would be cute for a girl's room.
This one is a light blue gel with blue river gems at the bottom.
And looking into it...
For this one, I haven't decided if I will turn it into a gel candle, or just use it as a tealight or votive candle holder. I did this with a vase one time. Just wrapped and hot-glued hemp all the way around. If you want this, you can buy it as is to use as a holder or ask me to make it into a gel candle. Here you see it as a tealight holder. It looked kinda cool with the light flickering through the hemp.
This one was my first attempt at making a multicolored candle. There are three different shades of blue. It turned out ok, but next time I think I will use colors that are more obviously different.
The three different shades are a little more obvious in the below picture, because of the angle and the neutral background of my placemat :)
And here are two Christmas candle holders! I haven't filled them yet because I'm waiting until it is closer to the holiday season so that they don't get dusty and the gel doesn't move (I once kept a gel candle stored at an angle, and eventually the gel took that form :P) I got the Christmas ribbon and holly decorations from a garage sale a couple weeks ago when I was visiting my family. Aren't they neat? I think when I fill them I might use red or green coloring, or maybe just clear gel, and scent it with cinnamon, or evergreen, or something else Christmas-y. I like that the first one has a lid to keep dust and bugs out.
The one below could also be a simple but pretty votive candle holder, rather than filling it with gel. Hmmm...
And lastly, there is this cute one in a tin with a lid! I think I may have posted a picture of this one sometime ago, but I took off the green ribbon it had and replaced it with blue to go with the blue gel. I don't know why I originally put green. It also has black marbles at the bottom.
Let me know what you think!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Reading, and more reading
That's what I've been doing this summer while Jake is at work and I look for a job. I was happy to graduate last month, but that also meant that I was no longer employed. I've been applying like crazy for student service jobs at universities in several different states, and it is exhausting. I've also applied for a few part-times here in Las Cruces, but it would be great if it didn't come down to that
The good news is, I did have an interview two days ago with the University of Iowa! Iowa seems kinda random, right? Well the reason I started looking in Iowa City was because Jake had applied for a promotion with his company that would place us in Iowa City. He did not get it, but we became interested in the area anyway, and I came across an open position at the university that I met all the requirements for and that I would be good at and enjoy (I think). So, to my excitement, I received a call from them last Wednesday and was interviewed over Skype on Monday. It's hard to say how the interview went. I was incredibly nervous, and struggled with a couple "hypothetical scenario" questions they asked me, but I think they liked me and I hope I made up for the difficult ones with a few impressionable responses... So while I hoped I made an impression, I'd also be terrified to move to Iowa City. I've never lived more than 5 1/2 hours away from my family in Los Alamos, and I can't stand the thought of being 20 hours away.
But anyway, while I look for and apply for jobs nearly every day, it is mentally exhausting and so I've been doing a lot of leisure reading, something I couldn't do much of during school! It's great to read something that isn't full of theories and discussions of validity/reliability. Don't get me wrong, I kinda miss the academic materials (wait, what did I just say??), but it's nice to not have to critically think about what I just read. Also, it's been too stinking hot here to be able to go on comfortable walks or to the park to pass the day, so between running errands, I've been holed up in the apartment. I did visit my family for 5 days, and that was great so do something else. So far this summer I have read the entire Hunger Games series, House Rules by Jodi Picoult (a favorite author), and am currently reading a John Grisham novel called Playing For Pizza. I'd also like to re-read the Harry Potter series and check out some more Jodi Picoult books. If you have read something great recently, I gladly take suggestions! I like many genres, so fire away!
The good news is, I did have an interview two days ago with the University of Iowa! Iowa seems kinda random, right? Well the reason I started looking in Iowa City was because Jake had applied for a promotion with his company that would place us in Iowa City. He did not get it, but we became interested in the area anyway, and I came across an open position at the university that I met all the requirements for and that I would be good at and enjoy (I think). So, to my excitement, I received a call from them last Wednesday and was interviewed over Skype on Monday. It's hard to say how the interview went. I was incredibly nervous, and struggled with a couple "hypothetical scenario" questions they asked me, but I think they liked me and I hope I made up for the difficult ones with a few impressionable responses... So while I hoped I made an impression, I'd also be terrified to move to Iowa City. I've never lived more than 5 1/2 hours away from my family in Los Alamos, and I can't stand the thought of being 20 hours away.
But anyway, while I look for and apply for jobs nearly every day, it is mentally exhausting and so I've been doing a lot of leisure reading, something I couldn't do much of during school! It's great to read something that isn't full of theories and discussions of validity/reliability. Don't get me wrong, I kinda miss the academic materials (wait, what did I just say??), but it's nice to not have to critically think about what I just read. Also, it's been too stinking hot here to be able to go on comfortable walks or to the park to pass the day, so between running errands, I've been holed up in the apartment. I did visit my family for 5 days, and that was great so do something else. So far this summer I have read the entire Hunger Games series, House Rules by Jodi Picoult (a favorite author), and am currently reading a John Grisham novel called Playing For Pizza. I'd also like to re-read the Harry Potter series and check out some more Jodi Picoult books. If you have read something great recently, I gladly take suggestions! I like many genres, so fire away!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
And that's a wrap
Well I think the last time I posted was a few days before my oral defense, and here I am, done with that, done with finals, done with teaching, and freshly graduated :D
My oral defense on April 23 went rather well. There were a few challenging moments and I really had to dig far into my brain, but my committee was pretty good to me. Not easy, not at all, but I think they knew the areas of communication studies that I am passionate about and thrive in so they focused their questions and the discussions on those.
After finishing my comprehensive exams with the defense, it was REALLY difficult to stay focused and motivated for the last couple weeks of classes. I sort of mentally checked out for a couple days after my defense, but got back on top of it so that I could still get the grades I wanted. Graduation week was great. Two days before graduation was the Graduate Honor's ceremony for those that maintained a GPA of 4.0 throughout grad school (my bragging rights for the day :), which was pretty neat to be recognized that way.
I was seriously nonstop throughout Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Wednesday I had to drop off all 640 COMM265 exams (the classes my fellow TA's and I taught [I am the administrator for the course which is why I was in charge of this]) at the grading center, collect them later, sort them, make copies of the results sheets, make copies of the answer keys, and distribute them to all the TA's. I also administered the exam that I am a teaching assistant for as an independent study. Thursday I had to finish calculating all the final grades for the classes I taught, drop off the Wednesday night exams at the post office to be mailed to my instructor in Lubbock (she taught over Skype which is why I was her teaching assistant). I also cleaned our apartment. Then the honor's ceremony was at 7 PM, and afterward I went to a going-away dinner for my friend and fellow TA Hayley, who moved to Pittsburgh on Friday. Friday all the TA's met in the morning to record final grades for COMM265 and download necessary files to the speech lab computer. After that, I went to a final lunch with other TA's, came home and cleaned a little more, went grocery shopping with Jake for my graduation party, went to my office mate Mario's graduation party, then went and met my family, who got into town at about 6:30, for dinner at St. Clair's restaurant. That evening Jake and I prepared for the graduation party a little more. The next morning, my family came to our apartment about 9 AM to help prepare for the party (chopping food, decorate cupcakes, etc.) and I mostly pampered myself before graduation and played with my niece :)
Finally graduation time came! I was so busy for those few days that it all seemed very surreal. I ended up sitting right next to my office mate during the ceremony, which made the time go by a little faster because we played Draw Something on his iPad. Hah. After graduation, we had my party at a local park and grilled burgers. Several of my friends and some family members, including Jake's mom and stepdad, came. It was really fun and relaxing. After that, we cleaned up from the party, and later that night Jake and I went to my parents' hotel to swim and hang out. The next day was Mother's day so we had brunch with my family and said goodbye to them :( On Sunday after my family left Jake and I made it a point to be really lazy all day, because we'd been so busy and nonstop that we needed it. We watched a lot of TV shows and I started reading the Hunger Games, and I am so hooked already.
I think it still hasn't quite sunk in that I am DONE with school. I am so used to always having a paper to write, stuff to grade, and assignments/tests to do, that I can't quite grasp that I really don't have anything to do anymore, school-wise. That was my life for four semesters, and I really don't know what to do with myself now! (Besides job hunt). I am planning our trip to San Diego next week, figuring out what we will be doing there. A few days after my oral defense, I was talking with one of my committee members, Dr. Flora, and told her I was relieved, but at the same time I felt kind of empty, like I didn't know what to do anymore. She laughed and compared it to Olympic athletes; sometimes athletes get depressed after the Olympics because they train and train for it for sooo long, and then it's over, and they don't know what their life is anymore because they were so focused and dedicated to it. It's funny but true; grad school has been kind of like that, an Olympic event! I really do feel a little lost.
I have severely mixed feelings about ending this chapter in my life. I am definitely relieved to be done with the stress, but in a way I thrived on that. I will seriously miss being in the classroom and learning from all my brilliant professors, and I will so miss the friends that I made in the department, specifically the other TA's. We were all very close in proximity during those semesters, all in our little offices in the little TA hallway in the Speech Building, and that proximity made us really close as friends. We were all there for each other during all the challenges and highlights of grad school and teaching, and I really miss our tiny, tight-knit community already. Some have already left Las Cruces, and for those that are still here, I want to make the most of hanging out with them before we are all dispersed across the country.
Anyway, this has been a really long post but I feel like this landmark in my life deserved a long post. Serious shout-out to my Communication friends who laughed, complained, and freaked out with me every day during the last two years. We all put up with each other's psychotic-ness and built friendships out of it. Also to my family members who supported me from a distance and believed in me, and to my Jake, who deserves a medal for putting up with me when, every day, I wailed about how I'm going to fail and how I "can't do this." I love you all!!!
My oral defense on April 23 went rather well. There were a few challenging moments and I really had to dig far into my brain, but my committee was pretty good to me. Not easy, not at all, but I think they knew the areas of communication studies that I am passionate about and thrive in so they focused their questions and the discussions on those.
After finishing my comprehensive exams with the defense, it was REALLY difficult to stay focused and motivated for the last couple weeks of classes. I sort of mentally checked out for a couple days after my defense, but got back on top of it so that I could still get the grades I wanted. Graduation week was great. Two days before graduation was the Graduate Honor's ceremony for those that maintained a GPA of 4.0 throughout grad school (my bragging rights for the day :), which was pretty neat to be recognized that way.
I was seriously nonstop throughout Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Wednesday I had to drop off all 640 COMM265 exams (the classes my fellow TA's and I taught [I am the administrator for the course which is why I was in charge of this]) at the grading center, collect them later, sort them, make copies of the results sheets, make copies of the answer keys, and distribute them to all the TA's. I also administered the exam that I am a teaching assistant for as an independent study. Thursday I had to finish calculating all the final grades for the classes I taught, drop off the Wednesday night exams at the post office to be mailed to my instructor in Lubbock (she taught over Skype which is why I was her teaching assistant). I also cleaned our apartment. Then the honor's ceremony was at 7 PM, and afterward I went to a going-away dinner for my friend and fellow TA Hayley, who moved to Pittsburgh on Friday. Friday all the TA's met in the morning to record final grades for COMM265 and download necessary files to the speech lab computer. After that, I went to a final lunch with other TA's, came home and cleaned a little more, went grocery shopping with Jake for my graduation party, went to my office mate Mario's graduation party, then went and met my family, who got into town at about 6:30, for dinner at St. Clair's restaurant. That evening Jake and I prepared for the graduation party a little more. The next morning, my family came to our apartment about 9 AM to help prepare for the party (chopping food, decorate cupcakes, etc.) and I mostly pampered myself before graduation and played with my niece :)
Finally graduation time came! I was so busy for those few days that it all seemed very surreal. I ended up sitting right next to my office mate during the ceremony, which made the time go by a little faster because we played Draw Something on his iPad. Hah. After graduation, we had my party at a local park and grilled burgers. Several of my friends and some family members, including Jake's mom and stepdad, came. It was really fun and relaxing. After that, we cleaned up from the party, and later that night Jake and I went to my parents' hotel to swim and hang out. The next day was Mother's day so we had brunch with my family and said goodbye to them :( On Sunday after my family left Jake and I made it a point to be really lazy all day, because we'd been so busy and nonstop that we needed it. We watched a lot of TV shows and I started reading the Hunger Games, and I am so hooked already.
I think it still hasn't quite sunk in that I am DONE with school. I am so used to always having a paper to write, stuff to grade, and assignments/tests to do, that I can't quite grasp that I really don't have anything to do anymore, school-wise. That was my life for four semesters, and I really don't know what to do with myself now! (Besides job hunt). I am planning our trip to San Diego next week, figuring out what we will be doing there. A few days after my oral defense, I was talking with one of my committee members, Dr. Flora, and told her I was relieved, but at the same time I felt kind of empty, like I didn't know what to do anymore. She laughed and compared it to Olympic athletes; sometimes athletes get depressed after the Olympics because they train and train for it for sooo long, and then it's over, and they don't know what their life is anymore because they were so focused and dedicated to it. It's funny but true; grad school has been kind of like that, an Olympic event! I really do feel a little lost.
I have severely mixed feelings about ending this chapter in my life. I am definitely relieved to be done with the stress, but in a way I thrived on that. I will seriously miss being in the classroom and learning from all my brilliant professors, and I will so miss the friends that I made in the department, specifically the other TA's. We were all very close in proximity during those semesters, all in our little offices in the little TA hallway in the Speech Building, and that proximity made us really close as friends. We were all there for each other during all the challenges and highlights of grad school and teaching, and I really miss our tiny, tight-knit community already. Some have already left Las Cruces, and for those that are still here, I want to make the most of hanging out with them before we are all dispersed across the country.
Anyway, this has been a really long post but I feel like this landmark in my life deserved a long post. Serious shout-out to my Communication friends who laughed, complained, and freaked out with me every day during the last two years. We all put up with each other's psychotic-ness and built friendships out of it. Also to my family members who supported me from a distance and believed in me, and to my Jake, who deserves a medal for putting up with me when, every day, I wailed about how I'm going to fail and how I "can't do this." I love you all!!!
Friday, April 20, 2012
So close...yet so far!!!
The end of my academic career is drawing to a close, but I still am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For the past two weeks it has felt like it's been just...out...of....reeeeeaaaaccchhh.
BUT.
It WILL be over soon. I just have to stay focused. I will have my oral defense in 3 (!!!) days, and assuming I pass, I will only have to think about one big paper, one small paper, and one written final exam. And for my bragging rights of the day, I got through all of my written comprehensive exams with NO rewrites! It seems most people have to rewrite one or two, but I passed them all on the first try! I think it's the perfectionist in me, and the slightly obsessive-when-studying personality that did it. But I don't feel relieved yet, because of my oral defense, for which I am terrified. And everyone who has done theirs so far has said it's really not that bad, and you don't need to worry, but that's what I do best. As my adviser has frequently told me, I am probably just "Pulling an Erika."
I hopefully will get a job not too long after I graduate, but I am SO looking forward to not having to think about homework and or having to do work on the weekends. I plan on reading the Hunger Games series, the Harry Potter series again, some Jodi Picoult books, and maybe some other recent best-sellers or recommendations (put any book suggestions as a comment!). I also want to pick up my violin and bust out some tunes again. Poor thing, it's probably so out of tune right now. Maybe I will also make a bunch of gel candles. I bought a big bucket of candle gel months ago but haven't made any in a long time. Maybe I'll sell some! Because the last thing I need is to light the apartment on fire because I've made too many candles and feel the need to burn them all.
I also have mixed feelings about this chapter of my life coming to a close. While I am definitely ready to say good riddance with all the homework and paper writing and stress over exams, I will actually miss being in the classroom. I will miss learning really great things from my brilliant professors. And I will really, really miss the friends I've made in the program and department. I don't want to say bye to them!
BUT.
It WILL be over soon. I just have to stay focused. I will have my oral defense in 3 (!!!) days, and assuming I pass, I will only have to think about one big paper, one small paper, and one written final exam. And for my bragging rights of the day, I got through all of my written comprehensive exams with NO rewrites! It seems most people have to rewrite one or two, but I passed them all on the first try! I think it's the perfectionist in me, and the slightly obsessive-when-studying personality that did it. But I don't feel relieved yet, because of my oral defense, for which I am terrified. And everyone who has done theirs so far has said it's really not that bad, and you don't need to worry, but that's what I do best. As my adviser has frequently told me, I am probably just "Pulling an Erika."
I hopefully will get a job not too long after I graduate, but I am SO looking forward to not having to think about homework and or having to do work on the weekends. I plan on reading the Hunger Games series, the Harry Potter series again, some Jodi Picoult books, and maybe some other recent best-sellers or recommendations (put any book suggestions as a comment!). I also want to pick up my violin and bust out some tunes again. Poor thing, it's probably so out of tune right now. Maybe I will also make a bunch of gel candles. I bought a big bucket of candle gel months ago but haven't made any in a long time. Maybe I'll sell some! Because the last thing I need is to light the apartment on fire because I've made too many candles and feel the need to burn them all.
I also have mixed feelings about this chapter of my life coming to a close. While I am definitely ready to say good riddance with all the homework and paper writing and stress over exams, I will actually miss being in the classroom. I will miss learning really great things from my brilliant professors. And I will really, really miss the friends I've made in the program and department. I don't want to say bye to them!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Better than last time!
When I wrote my last post, life was pretty stressful. Things just kept piling up on us and it felt like God was showing us no mercy. But times like those are necessary for making people stronger. Since I wrote that, though, things have been looking up. Our next door neighbor and his cousin have been quiet, and supposedly the tenant called our apartment management out of the blue and basically said, "Ok, we'll be quiet." And so far, they've kept their word. No eviction, but they're on serious probation.
I got through probably the worst part of my comprehensive exam process. I finished the last one of all 8 yesterday! It's such a great feeling, and now I feel like the rest of the semester will seem easy compared to comps (I hope). Now I just have to wait to find out if I need to rewrite any of them (I know I have passed 3 of them so far, yay!), and then pass my oral defense on April 23. I also got an email inviting me to an Honor's Graduate Ceremony, for grad students that have maintained a 4.0. This email reminded me about what I've achieved the last 4 semesters, and although I still don't know what I want to do "when I grow up," I have accomplished a lot and will have a degree to show for it.
Jake and I are going to Tuscon tomorrow night for a concert, and coming back Saturday. It will be nice to have a night out of town together. I'm not sure what we're doing for Easter yet, but hopefully it will involve relaxing! We also booked our flight for our anniversary trip in May! We're going to San Diego for 8 days and visiting Sea World, San Diego Zoo, and who knows what else. We were going to go the Redwoods originally, but figured in order to do everything and see all the places we want to on the Redwood Coast, we'd have to have a car rented for at least 10 days, which would have been pretty expensive. So we're still going to go sometime, but after we have saved up more so that we can take that long Redwood trip financially guilt-free.
So, life has been pretty good this week, and I look forward to finishing school and taking on whatever else is next!
I got through probably the worst part of my comprehensive exam process. I finished the last one of all 8 yesterday! It's such a great feeling, and now I feel like the rest of the semester will seem easy compared to comps (I hope). Now I just have to wait to find out if I need to rewrite any of them (I know I have passed 3 of them so far, yay!), and then pass my oral defense on April 23. I also got an email inviting me to an Honor's Graduate Ceremony, for grad students that have maintained a 4.0. This email reminded me about what I've achieved the last 4 semesters, and although I still don't know what I want to do "when I grow up," I have accomplished a lot and will have a degree to show for it.
Jake and I are going to Tuscon tomorrow night for a concert, and coming back Saturday. It will be nice to have a night out of town together. I'm not sure what we're doing for Easter yet, but hopefully it will involve relaxing! We also booked our flight for our anniversary trip in May! We're going to San Diego for 8 days and visiting Sea World, San Diego Zoo, and who knows what else. We were going to go the Redwoods originally, but figured in order to do everything and see all the places we want to on the Redwood Coast, we'd have to have a car rented for at least 10 days, which would have been pretty expensive. So we're still going to go sometime, but after we have saved up more so that we can take that long Redwood trip financially guilt-free.
So, life has been pretty good this week, and I look forward to finishing school and taking on whatever else is next!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Tests
Tests seems to be taking up the majority of my life right now, in more ways than one. The first, most obvious way is that I begin my comprehensive exams on Monday, and my degree depends on my passing the written exams, as well as an oral defense sometime in April. These exams, if you're not familiar with them, work like this: I receive one multifaceted question from the professors of 8 classes that I've had during my grad school career. 2 are required (Theories and Research Methods) and I choose the other 6. Then I study and prepare responses, which I've been doing since the beginning of February. Then over the course of 10 days, I am given one hour to write my response for each question, sequestered alone in an office or other available classroom with the department laptop. For 2 of the classes, I'm allowed to take in an outline, but the other ones I pretty much have to memorize. The professors are then given my responses, read them, and then if they find it necessary, tell me to re-write them to include anything that I missed or didn't explain well. Then I have to meet with my committee of three professors and defend, for two hours, my responses, and I've heard that they throw in other, unrelated questions from those classes to make sure I was mentally present during my four semesters. I am so freaking nervous. I think I'm more nervous for the oral defense than writing, though, because I've never been good with being put on the spot and I've always thrived with writing things down after giving them some thought.
Another way that tests are a part of my life right now is the chaos that Jake and I have gone through during the last month that has put our relationship and our mental and physical strength to the test. You probably recall my last post that was a letter to our next-door neighbor. Well, it didn't end there. In fact, it got worse. It's a really, really long story, but basically the week after the warning, there were parties and loud music almost every night for a week. Two nights in a row we had to go to Jake's brother's apartment (once at 4 AM when the party started) and each time the cops showed up after we called, the people next door would turn off the music, stay quiet, and not answer the door. We had to stay in a hotel that weekend because we just didn't know what was going to happen those nights. The Monday after the hotel weekend we told the apartment management, and they put an eviction notice on his door. Apparently the guy next door went over there, furious, and insisted that he wasn't doing anything wrong. In fact, he was "hardly ever at the apartment," but his cousin uses it sometimes. His cousin is not on the lease (so as we interpret things, since the actual tenant is rarely there, the cousin is using the apartment to throw parties, and since he's not on the lease, that is why he doesn't answer the door, because no one actually knows who is there). The actual tenant's mom even got involved and since then it has just spiraled out of control, with the eviction on hold because I guess they can't legally evict him if he argues it or something like that, a threat from the tenant of a lawsuit on Jake for "harassment" (seriously? We've never even made contact with him!), and the management giving us the property manager's personal phone number to call in the middle of the night if a party starts so she could go over with a key and bust into the apartment, yet she doesn't even answer the phone or return messages... We had to stay in a hotel AGAIN last weekend because a somewhat quieter, but still noisy gathering was accumulating in that apartment, and we just didn't know if it was going to go on all weekend. We are trying to get the management to pay for our hotel stays too. THEN Jake talked to someone from management on Sunday, and she told him that the property manager wanted to set up a kind of mediation meeting the next day (Monday) with the tenant and Jake, so Jake took off work because he didn't know what time it would be, but they never called him in. So we've gotten all the police records of every time we've called about that apartment, Jake has done research on leasing laws to know our rights as tenants and the responsibilities of property management, and we've been kinda of looking for other places so in case this continues, we would break our lease early.
MEANWHILE, the first hotel weekend I started coming down with a cold, and have since been trying to get over it. The first week of my cold, there were no parties, but we STILL could not sleep because I was up coughing all night for a week. I needed to study for my comps so badly but was not getting any sleep. Then as if all this wasn't enough, the first morning of the second hotel weekend, I woke up with pinkeye in both eyes (if you've ever had it, you know how gross pinkeye is). The only urgent care center in town that took my insurance was closed on the weekend, and after seeking advice from another urgent care that didn't take my insurance, I decided to tough out the pinkeye until I could go to the Student Health Center on Monday. By then, my pinkeye had gotten better on its own.
Thoughts and prayers of encouragement are appreciated at this time. We are doing everything we can at the moment, and this apartment situation is kind of in limbo right now. For the time being, it has been quiet and I've been focusing on comps and Jake and I have been doing a lot to get our mind off things, like going on walks and out to dinner. But we have many options and amazing support from our families, who we know would give anything to be closer to us right now (and frankly, we want to be closer to them too). Even my brother-in-law was wanting to drive the 5 hours down here and wait outside our neighbor's door for him. Haha.
This has been a REALLY long post (sorry!), and I know that other people have gone through much worse in their life than what we're going through. The whole point of this post was not to get anyone to feel sorry for us, but to show that no relationship is speed-bump free, and that marriage is not always happy and perfect, and that life WILL test marriage. This has been a major test for Jake and I. It's taken a major toll on our mental well-being. Due to lack of sleep, anxiety over not knowing what is going to happen every night, and anger with the apartment management over seemingly not doing enough, we have had moments when we lash out at each other and times that we feel helpless. However, overall we both agreed yesterday that this test of all tests has made us even closer and has caused us to lean on each other even more. Every marriage goes through tests, and I know this won't be our last one. These tests will either break a relationship down or make it stronger. This one has definitely made ours stronger. Just like I know I can pass my tests during the next two weeks, I know that he and I can pass this test (with all the sub-tests in between). I love my husband so much and can't imagine going through this alone. After all, it's not the problems that you go through, but how you get through the problems together than matters!
Another way that tests are a part of my life right now is the chaos that Jake and I have gone through during the last month that has put our relationship and our mental and physical strength to the test. You probably recall my last post that was a letter to our next-door neighbor. Well, it didn't end there. In fact, it got worse. It's a really, really long story, but basically the week after the warning, there were parties and loud music almost every night for a week. Two nights in a row we had to go to Jake's brother's apartment (once at 4 AM when the party started) and each time the cops showed up after we called, the people next door would turn off the music, stay quiet, and not answer the door. We had to stay in a hotel that weekend because we just didn't know what was going to happen those nights. The Monday after the hotel weekend we told the apartment management, and they put an eviction notice on his door. Apparently the guy next door went over there, furious, and insisted that he wasn't doing anything wrong. In fact, he was "hardly ever at the apartment," but his cousin uses it sometimes. His cousin is not on the lease (so as we interpret things, since the actual tenant is rarely there, the cousin is using the apartment to throw parties, and since he's not on the lease, that is why he doesn't answer the door, because no one actually knows who is there). The actual tenant's mom even got involved and since then it has just spiraled out of control, with the eviction on hold because I guess they can't legally evict him if he argues it or something like that, a threat from the tenant of a lawsuit on Jake for "harassment" (seriously? We've never even made contact with him!), and the management giving us the property manager's personal phone number to call in the middle of the night if a party starts so she could go over with a key and bust into the apartment, yet she doesn't even answer the phone or return messages... We had to stay in a hotel AGAIN last weekend because a somewhat quieter, but still noisy gathering was accumulating in that apartment, and we just didn't know if it was going to go on all weekend. We are trying to get the management to pay for our hotel stays too. THEN Jake talked to someone from management on Sunday, and she told him that the property manager wanted to set up a kind of mediation meeting the next day (Monday) with the tenant and Jake, so Jake took off work because he didn't know what time it would be, but they never called him in. So we've gotten all the police records of every time we've called about that apartment, Jake has done research on leasing laws to know our rights as tenants and the responsibilities of property management, and we've been kinda of looking for other places so in case this continues, we would break our lease early.
MEANWHILE, the first hotel weekend I started coming down with a cold, and have since been trying to get over it. The first week of my cold, there were no parties, but we STILL could not sleep because I was up coughing all night for a week. I needed to study for my comps so badly but was not getting any sleep. Then as if all this wasn't enough, the first morning of the second hotel weekend, I woke up with pinkeye in both eyes (if you've ever had it, you know how gross pinkeye is). The only urgent care center in town that took my insurance was closed on the weekend, and after seeking advice from another urgent care that didn't take my insurance, I decided to tough out the pinkeye until I could go to the Student Health Center on Monday. By then, my pinkeye had gotten better on its own.
Thoughts and prayers of encouragement are appreciated at this time. We are doing everything we can at the moment, and this apartment situation is kind of in limbo right now. For the time being, it has been quiet and I've been focusing on comps and Jake and I have been doing a lot to get our mind off things, like going on walks and out to dinner. But we have many options and amazing support from our families, who we know would give anything to be closer to us right now (and frankly, we want to be closer to them too). Even my brother-in-law was wanting to drive the 5 hours down here and wait outside our neighbor's door for him. Haha.
This has been a REALLY long post (sorry!), and I know that other people have gone through much worse in their life than what we're going through. The whole point of this post was not to get anyone to feel sorry for us, but to show that no relationship is speed-bump free, and that marriage is not always happy and perfect, and that life WILL test marriage. This has been a major test for Jake and I. It's taken a major toll on our mental well-being. Due to lack of sleep, anxiety over not knowing what is going to happen every night, and anger with the apartment management over seemingly not doing enough, we have had moments when we lash out at each other and times that we feel helpless. However, overall we both agreed yesterday that this test of all tests has made us even closer and has caused us to lean on each other even more. Every marriage goes through tests, and I know this won't be our last one. These tests will either break a relationship down or make it stronger. This one has definitely made ours stronger. Just like I know I can pass my tests during the next two weeks, I know that he and I can pass this test (with all the sub-tests in between). I love my husband so much and can't imagine going through this alone. After all, it's not the problems that you go through, but how you get through the problems together than matters!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A nice, simple letter
Dear (I struggle to use the word "dear" here, so let's just say "dear" means "horrible awful") Next-Door Neighbor,
I don't have a bad attitude toward neighbors in general. In fact, I kind of like neighbors. I have plenty of good memories of my neighbors growing up in my hometown, like block parties and fresh garden vegetable exchanges. I even have some good memories of some (only some) college neighbors.
But you, you take the cake for probably being the worst I have had. A close second is only the lady-like and good-natured (sarcasm) ladies above my apartment living at The Grove, who would stomp around at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning. When you moved in next door a few weeks ago, I held no stereotypes or judgment. It was simply another neighbor next door, taking the place of the quiet, non-music blaring couple that had lived there before.
A few days after your move, things changed. On a Monday night, at midnight, that's when we heard the music. And literally felt the bass thudding. So in went the ear plugs and up went the speed on our fan, yet we still could hear/feel your nonsense. Thinking we'd give you a chance to show that you are not that uncaring, my husband went to your front door and knocked. And knocked. Not sure if you couldn't hear the knock over your music, or just ignored him. So next was the phone call to the police department. We ended up somehow falling asleep before we knew of the police got there.
A few days later, on a Friday night, I dreamed that you were playing extremely loud music again and that many people were at your apartment yelling and laughing loudly, and that the bass was once again thudding in my pillow. I woke up and realized that it wasn't just in my dreams; it was reality. Jake lay there frustrated too. So another phone call to the police department ensued, at which time we looked at the clock: 2:30 AM. Half an hour went by and the police finally found your apartment in the complicated complex. We spied through the blinds a little and listened. Sounded like we broke up an underage party. Terribly sorry (not really).
After that it was relatively quiet for about a week or so. At least no obvious parties in the middle of the week. Until last night, a Wednesday night for that matter. We attempted to go to bed and noticed that you had music playing loudly again. So we put in our ear plugs, but the noise just increased, and so did the number of people yelling in your apartment. Midnight rolled around, then 12:30, so another phone call to the police department. At that point we had to move out to our living room to try to get some sleep until the police broke it up, yet when one is that frustrated and determined to teach you a lesson, sleep doesn't come easily. Finally the cops showed up and we heard them knock on your door. And knock. And knock. At the first knock, the music magically stopped, and so did all the talking and yelling. Several minutes passed and the cops left. After all, there's not much they could do if you don't answer the door. We though you would have learned from the first time the cops came. Actually, I suppose you did learn. You learned to not answer the door to cops anymore.
We thought the cops showing up had scared you and your pals into stopping the party, because quiet ensued for about 15 minutes. Then it started again. Peeping through the living room blinds, I saw at least 10 more people in the parking lot heading into your apartment. Great-looking young'uns too; one with his pants down to his knees, one with a muscle shirt, some girls dressed like...well, you know. One guy came out to greet these nice young folks, then looked right at our front door, pointed at it menacingly, and said something. I don't know what he said, but not going to lie; it scared me. The police were called again by my angry husband, and they were very understanding and said to keep calling even if they didn't answer the door to the cops.
Somehow the music and bass thudding lessened, and we somehow fell into a restless, paranoid sleep, all night thinking there was music playing and that you and your friends were going to break in to our apartment.
Rest assured that our apartment management was called this morning and a lengthy, detailed complaint was filed. Perhaps you missed the part in the lease that says "No Parties." Wonder how many warnings they will give you...
Sincerely,
Your friendly neighbor
P.S. I gave up my morning routine of coffee for Lent. After your little stunt last night, today is not a good day for being without it.
I don't have a bad attitude toward neighbors in general. In fact, I kind of like neighbors. I have plenty of good memories of my neighbors growing up in my hometown, like block parties and fresh garden vegetable exchanges. I even have some good memories of some (only some) college neighbors.
But you, you take the cake for probably being the worst I have had. A close second is only the lady-like and good-natured (sarcasm) ladies above my apartment living at The Grove, who would stomp around at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning. When you moved in next door a few weeks ago, I held no stereotypes or judgment. It was simply another neighbor next door, taking the place of the quiet, non-music blaring couple that had lived there before.
A few days after your move, things changed. On a Monday night, at midnight, that's when we heard the music. And literally felt the bass thudding. So in went the ear plugs and up went the speed on our fan, yet we still could hear/feel your nonsense. Thinking we'd give you a chance to show that you are not that uncaring, my husband went to your front door and knocked. And knocked. Not sure if you couldn't hear the knock over your music, or just ignored him. So next was the phone call to the police department. We ended up somehow falling asleep before we knew of the police got there.
A few days later, on a Friday night, I dreamed that you were playing extremely loud music again and that many people were at your apartment yelling and laughing loudly, and that the bass was once again thudding in my pillow. I woke up and realized that it wasn't just in my dreams; it was reality. Jake lay there frustrated too. So another phone call to the police department ensued, at which time we looked at the clock: 2:30 AM. Half an hour went by and the police finally found your apartment in the complicated complex. We spied through the blinds a little and listened. Sounded like we broke up an underage party. Terribly sorry (not really).
After that it was relatively quiet for about a week or so. At least no obvious parties in the middle of the week. Until last night, a Wednesday night for that matter. We attempted to go to bed and noticed that you had music playing loudly again. So we put in our ear plugs, but the noise just increased, and so did the number of people yelling in your apartment. Midnight rolled around, then 12:30, so another phone call to the police department. At that point we had to move out to our living room to try to get some sleep until the police broke it up, yet when one is that frustrated and determined to teach you a lesson, sleep doesn't come easily. Finally the cops showed up and we heard them knock on your door. And knock. And knock. At the first knock, the music magically stopped, and so did all the talking and yelling. Several minutes passed and the cops left. After all, there's not much they could do if you don't answer the door. We though you would have learned from the first time the cops came. Actually, I suppose you did learn. You learned to not answer the door to cops anymore.
We thought the cops showing up had scared you and your pals into stopping the party, because quiet ensued for about 15 minutes. Then it started again. Peeping through the living room blinds, I saw at least 10 more people in the parking lot heading into your apartment. Great-looking young'uns too; one with his pants down to his knees, one with a muscle shirt, some girls dressed like...well, you know. One guy came out to greet these nice young folks, then looked right at our front door, pointed at it menacingly, and said something. I don't know what he said, but not going to lie; it scared me. The police were called again by my angry husband, and they were very understanding and said to keep calling even if they didn't answer the door to the cops.
Somehow the music and bass thudding lessened, and we somehow fell into a restless, paranoid sleep, all night thinking there was music playing and that you and your friends were going to break in to our apartment.
Rest assured that our apartment management was called this morning and a lengthy, detailed complaint was filed. Perhaps you missed the part in the lease that says "No Parties." Wonder how many warnings they will give you...
Sincerely,
Your friendly neighbor
P.S. I gave up my morning routine of coffee for Lent. After your little stunt last night, today is not a good day for being without it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Right now...
Reading: The Help. Jake got me this book for Christmas, and it's so good. I look forward to finishing it and getting the movie through Netflix.
Worried about: Comprehensive exams. Ugh. Why did I just remind myself?
Excited about: Redwoods trip in May! and graduating.
On the brain: Babies. Seriously. I've caught baby fever badly, and there seems to be no cure!
Annoyed with: Certain people.
Craving: Anything lemony.
Sick of: Sweets. We accumulated sooo many cookies and candies over the holiday season. I hate just seeing them now. I've taken so much candy to my work for others to indulge in.
Confused about: Plans after I graduate.
Worried about: Comprehensive exams. Ugh. Why did I just remind myself?
Excited about: Redwoods trip in May! and graduating.
On the brain: Babies. Seriously. I've caught baby fever badly, and there seems to be no cure!
Annoyed with: Certain people.
Craving: Anything lemony.
Sick of: Sweets. We accumulated sooo many cookies and candies over the holiday season. I hate just seeing them now. I've taken so much candy to my work for others to indulge in.
Confused about: Plans after I graduate.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Let the countdown begin...
...starting with 4 months! Seem like a long time period to be counting down to something? Yeah, I know. Usually countdowns for long time periods like that are for weddings or births of babies. But today I started planning a prospective trip that Jake and I want to take in May, and I'm already stupidly excited. It's also the countdown to when I'll be done with school...FOREVER. It's sad, really, that the semester hasn't even started and I'm already counting down the days to when it's over. But I get anxiety just thinking about what is coming this semester, mostly comprehensive exams. I'll save that for another post, because I don't want to dampen my own hyped-up attitude about our trip.
We've known for a while that we want to go on a trip for our first wedding anniversary and my graduation, but were being pretty wishy-washy about the destination and never sat down and seriously started planning it. About a month ago, I came up with the idea of going to Northern California, as neither of us have been there, specifically the Redwood Coast. So I did a little Googling some main attractions and places to stay and ordered a free Redwood Coast travel guide. It finally came in the mail last night, and today, that's really all I've done. Sat on my butt and roughly planned out our trip and budget and obsessed over the scenic and adventure attractions. We're going to fly to San Francisco, get a rental car, and stay at 3 or 4 different areas for 3 or 4 nights at a time along the Redwood Coast and famously scenic highway 101. I so look forward to the hikes into the giant redwood forests and walks into green groves in Humboldt Redwoods State Park and Redwood National Park, and of course, driving through the drive-through tree! We also might see and stay in Old Town Eureka and/or Trinidad. All of this, and graduate school will be behind me! We're trying to figure out a way to get our wedding cake tier to California, keep it from going bad, and be able to eat it on our anniversary. Because, well, our first anniversary only comes once ever, and we must follow that tradition!
I CAN'T WAIT, and hope everything works out!
We've known for a while that we want to go on a trip for our first wedding anniversary and my graduation, but were being pretty wishy-washy about the destination and never sat down and seriously started planning it. About a month ago, I came up with the idea of going to Northern California, as neither of us have been there, specifically the Redwood Coast. So I did a little Googling some main attractions and places to stay and ordered a free Redwood Coast travel guide. It finally came in the mail last night, and today, that's really all I've done. Sat on my butt and roughly planned out our trip and budget and obsessed over the scenic and adventure attractions. We're going to fly to San Francisco, get a rental car, and stay at 3 or 4 different areas for 3 or 4 nights at a time along the Redwood Coast and famously scenic highway 101. I so look forward to the hikes into the giant redwood forests and walks into green groves in Humboldt Redwoods State Park and Redwood National Park, and of course, driving through the drive-through tree! We also might see and stay in Old Town Eureka and/or Trinidad. All of this, and graduate school will be behind me! We're trying to figure out a way to get our wedding cake tier to California, keep it from going bad, and be able to eat it on our anniversary. Because, well, our first anniversary only comes once ever, and we must follow that tradition!
I CAN'T WAIT, and hope everything works out!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Fame by Infidelity
I'm sorry...I have to rant a bit right now. I am just really angry about how whenever a celebrity is unfaithful to his/her spouse, the individual with whom he was unfaithful with, i.e. mistresses, shoots to fame with her photo on the cover of magazines and cover story, professional photo shoot within the magazine, and an entire article dedicated to an interview/story with said mistress. At this point, I am talking about Sara Leal, the 22-year old Ashton Kutcher allegedly had an affair with. She is set to be the cover story of Us Weekly. However, I'm not just talking about her either. What about Rielle Hunter, the woman with whom John Edwards fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer? Or Bombshell McGee or whatever her name is, Jesse James' lover while he was married to Sandra Bullock? And in many cases, these women are made out to be the victim in the story. Sara's photo on the cover this week makes her look sad and serious.
I'm sorry, but I just can't sympathize. Even if Sara is telling the truth when she says "she thought Ashton was separated," she is not the victim in the story and should not become famous for it. Even if she has good intentions and regrets hurting the wife, she has no reason to be the star of the story. Acting in scandalous ways during which one knows what he or she is doing should not be made into a sob story. Is this cruel-hearted or closed-minded of me? Maybe so. I just had to get this off my chest. This is why I get disgusted with Hollywood.
I'm sorry, but I just can't sympathize. Even if Sara is telling the truth when she says "she thought Ashton was separated," she is not the victim in the story and should not become famous for it. Even if she has good intentions and regrets hurting the wife, she has no reason to be the star of the story. Acting in scandalous ways during which one knows what he or she is doing should not be made into a sob story. Is this cruel-hearted or closed-minded of me? Maybe so. I just had to get this off my chest. This is why I get disgusted with Hollywood.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Things I don't get
The title says it all. Here are some things I just don't get.
I don't get...
1. Men who wear their pants lower than their butt. Why is it still cool? Why was it ever cool?
2. People who thump the basses in their cars so everyone else can feel the bass in their own cars. Not only does it make me so mad, but I genuinely just don't get it.
3. Houses that have more bathrooms than bedrooms.
4. Leashes for children. Okay, well, I "get" the point of them, but I still just don't get them...why would anyone need a leash for their kid?
5. The excessive use of profanity, especially in adults.
6. Accessory dogs. When people buy little dogs for the purpose of carrying them around in their bags/purses.
7. Ugg boots with shorts/skirts. Are you warm, or cold?
8. Shaving off your eyebrows and then penciling them in.
The end, for now.
I don't get...
1. Men who wear their pants lower than their butt. Why is it still cool? Why was it ever cool?
2. People who thump the basses in their cars so everyone else can feel the bass in their own cars. Not only does it make me so mad, but I genuinely just don't get it.
3. Houses that have more bathrooms than bedrooms.
4. Leashes for children. Okay, well, I "get" the point of them, but I still just don't get them...why would anyone need a leash for their kid?
5. The excessive use of profanity, especially in adults.
6. Accessory dogs. When people buy little dogs for the purpose of carrying them around in their bags/purses.
7. Ugg boots with shorts/skirts. Are you warm, or cold?
8. Shaving off your eyebrows and then penciling them in.
The end, for now.
Monday, August 15, 2011
CAMP-an inspiring film that "could be"!
My brother will be working on this film if it reaches its goal of $135,000 in donations. Their goal is the deciding factor for whether it goes into production or not! Right now they are at just over $30,000, and only have 20 more days to reach their goal. The film is inspired by true stories. Read the information and synopsis, and if you can, please donate whatever amount of money you are able and willing, $1 or more. I think this looks like a wonderful film that will likely inspire and provide hope for a lot of people. Please, anything helps! Plus I'd really love to see my brother doing what he loves...being on film crew!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jacobroebuck/camp-inspired-by-true-stores-from-camp-for-foster
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jacobroebuck/camp-inspired-by-true-stores-from-camp-for-foster
Friday, August 5, 2011
One sappy post
I've basically settled into the fact that I'm married now. Mostly. There are still some things I'm not quite used to. The other day I was signing something and mistakenly began signing "Rupprecht." I also occasionally refer to things in our apartment as Jake's or ask him what food "he" has. It still sounds weird (but in a good way, music to my ears:) to call him my husband, or hear him refer to me as his wife.
Some of the greatest things (so far) about being married is not having to say goodbye to him at night, not having to cook for one (we shared a lot of dinners before marriage, but of course not all the time), and his goodbye kisses every morning when he leaves for work. I'm usually half-asleep when he kisses me goodbye, but I cherish them nonetheless. I am also loving our routine we've established this summer. Surely it will change once school starts for me in a couple weeks, but we watch a movie or at least some TV episodes every night before bed. This might seem boring or like it would get old for some people, but we're very much utilizing Netflix this summer, and it's been a great way to just be together and wind down.
I feel very blessed right now. We don't have a ton of money or a nice house to start off our marriage, but we do both have jobs and we have a place to live. So what if it's a small one-bedroom apartment? Of course eventually we'd like something bigger, and hope to have a bigger savings account than we do now, but our little home is perfect for us right now, and we have the abilities to start saving up.
And I know that no marriage is perfect, and no marriage goes without kinks. And we'll have some bad times. But there's no one else that I'd rather undo those kinks and navigate over the bumps with than my husband.
Some of the greatest things (so far) about being married is not having to say goodbye to him at night, not having to cook for one (we shared a lot of dinners before marriage, but of course not all the time), and his goodbye kisses every morning when he leaves for work. I'm usually half-asleep when he kisses me goodbye, but I cherish them nonetheless. I am also loving our routine we've established this summer. Surely it will change once school starts for me in a couple weeks, but we watch a movie or at least some TV episodes every night before bed. This might seem boring or like it would get old for some people, but we're very much utilizing Netflix this summer, and it's been a great way to just be together and wind down.
I feel very blessed right now. We don't have a ton of money or a nice house to start off our marriage, but we do both have jobs and we have a place to live. So what if it's a small one-bedroom apartment? Of course eventually we'd like something bigger, and hope to have a bigger savings account than we do now, but our little home is perfect for us right now, and we have the abilities to start saving up.
And I know that no marriage is perfect, and no marriage goes without kinks. And we'll have some bad times. But there's no one else that I'd rather undo those kinks and navigate over the bumps with than my husband.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
The powers of technology
I often find myself complaining about soooo much new technology and advances and iPad 4 or whatever and all these new gadgets that everyone needs, yet they fared perfectly fine with their non-smart phones. I also rant whenever Facebook has another facelift and changes everything from viewing photos to how you can post things on friends' walls. However, I recently gained a new appreciation for new technology, Facebook specifically, due to the Las Conchas fire burning so close to my hometown. 11 years ago with the Cerro Grande fire, the only ways we had for communicating with others around town and for out-of-town family getting in touch with us to make sure we were okay were phones and face-to-face. Yes, there was Internet then, and instant messaging, but nothing like Facebook.
I couldn't help noticing the last week and a half how much Facebook has changed the way we keep in touch...okay, that's the understatement of the decade I'm sure, but specifically, how it has changed the way a community communicates in times of crisis. Sure there was plenty of emotional support and mutual feelings of loss and sadness and hope during the Cerro Grande, along with much volunteer work, but I observed and was amazed by how quickly and effectively the community came together via Facebook, how quickly news spread and updates were given, and how much support has been shared through this network. Out-of-town friends and family could know what was happening immediately, people could know where their friends and family were going upon evacuation, how close the fire has come to different locations...but mostly how community members came together to share grief, fear, and hope on a wide and large scale. A simple status like "We need more lunches made for the firefighters" brings countless volunteers; pages are created to show support and gratitude for the firefighters, police officers, and national guard, and to keep community members updated on the status of the fire.
Facebook can't stop the fire or protect the town or mountains, but it can sure change relationships throughout and among Los Alamos and other surrounding communities for the better.
I couldn't help noticing the last week and a half how much Facebook has changed the way we keep in touch...okay, that's the understatement of the decade I'm sure, but specifically, how it has changed the way a community communicates in times of crisis. Sure there was plenty of emotional support and mutual feelings of loss and sadness and hope during the Cerro Grande, along with much volunteer work, but I observed and was amazed by how quickly and effectively the community came together via Facebook, how quickly news spread and updates were given, and how much support has been shared through this network. Out-of-town friends and family could know what was happening immediately, people could know where their friends and family were going upon evacuation, how close the fire has come to different locations...but mostly how community members came together to share grief, fear, and hope on a wide and large scale. A simple status like "We need more lunches made for the firefighters" brings countless volunteers; pages are created to show support and gratitude for the firefighters, police officers, and national guard, and to keep community members updated on the status of the fire.
Facebook can't stop the fire or protect the town or mountains, but it can sure change relationships throughout and among Los Alamos and other surrounding communities for the better.
Monday, June 27, 2011
On a lighter (and hilarious) note...
My last post about the fire was a downer. It is very saddening, but I do have something pretty dang funny to write about, and I think it will cheer me up and anyone who needs a laugh right now.
I've discovered I married a sleeptalker. Several nights he's woken me up with his talking, and so far it's been nonsensical. Not long ago I woke up in the middle of the night and came to the realization that he has been working at a call center too long. His mumbling was along the lines of, "Don't stress about your phone plan. Don't worry. We're here to accommodate you...we're here to accommodate you..."
He's said some other funny things in his sleep, but nothing compared to last night.
I woke up to this noise (sort of a whistling, but more airy), and saw Jake with his hand in the air, moving it back and forth. It made me think he was dreaming he was playing with a toy airplane. But then he started talking. Here's what came out of his unconscious mouth:
Jake: "Look at the floud." (Yes, floud, pronounced like "cloud")
Me: "What?"
Jake: "The floud. I see a floud."
Me: "A floud? What's a floud?"
Jake: "You know! A floud, a ring floud. Like where we put our rings. It's big and black."
Me: "A ring floud? Like a ring pillow?" (me thinking of our wedding rings and the ring pillow for the wedding)
Jake: "No, a floud!"
Me (as I burst out laughing): "You are dreaming! What the heck is a floud?!"
Jake: "No I'm not!! I see it outside! It's black like a cloud!"
Me (still laughing uncontrollably): "You're dreaming! You're talking nonsense!"
Jake (now hurt with me because I don't understand): "No!" (in a whiny voice, and he rolls over away from me).
It took me a few minutes to stop laughing into my pillow. Before I fell asleep, I vowed to remember every detail of this conversation so I could tell Jake about it in the morning. This morning, he didn't remember any of it of course. Funniest thing I've ever heard in the middle of the night.
Maybe I should write down all his unconscious pearls of wisdom. Hope you enjoyed it this one :)
I've discovered I married a sleeptalker. Several nights he's woken me up with his talking, and so far it's been nonsensical. Not long ago I woke up in the middle of the night and came to the realization that he has been working at a call center too long. His mumbling was along the lines of, "Don't stress about your phone plan. Don't worry. We're here to accommodate you...we're here to accommodate you..."
He's said some other funny things in his sleep, but nothing compared to last night.
I woke up to this noise (sort of a whistling, but more airy), and saw Jake with his hand in the air, moving it back and forth. It made me think he was dreaming he was playing with a toy airplane. But then he started talking. Here's what came out of his unconscious mouth:
Jake: "Look at the floud." (Yes, floud, pronounced like "cloud")
Me: "What?"
Jake: "The floud. I see a floud."
Me: "A floud? What's a floud?"
Jake: "You know! A floud, a ring floud. Like where we put our rings. It's big and black."
Me: "A ring floud? Like a ring pillow?" (me thinking of our wedding rings and the ring pillow for the wedding)
Jake: "No, a floud!"
Me (as I burst out laughing): "You are dreaming! What the heck is a floud?!"
Jake: "No I'm not!! I see it outside! It's black like a cloud!"
Me (still laughing uncontrollably): "You're dreaming! You're talking nonsense!"
Jake (now hurt with me because I don't understand): "No!" (in a whiny voice, and he rolls over away from me).
It took me a few minutes to stop laughing into my pillow. Before I fell asleep, I vowed to remember every detail of this conversation so I could tell Jake about it in the morning. This morning, he didn't remember any of it of course. Funniest thing I've ever heard in the middle of the night.
Maybe I should write down all his unconscious pearls of wisdom. Hope you enjoyed it this one :)
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